is it that when I’m happy i don’t feel the need to write, and when I’m sad all i can do is gush all my feelings out on paper. its like I’m searching for something in my own writing, through these words maybe i might find the answer, the key to it all. why is it that with women, there is an end all, be all. as in, we need clear, precise answers to everything, nothing can...
Its so cliche to continuously talk about the subject of love. Either, you’re happy or you’re sad. plain and simple. today I’m sad. I contemplate why i allowed myself to dive into this heart wrenching situation knowing full well that it is much bigger than i, I know why, and Im still sure Ive made the right decision. And though it kills me to think, maybe I love you a little...
quitting the shit
I’m sorry white paper, black ink. sorry words, diction. the things i love. I’m sorry for neglecting you these years i never wrote. well i wrote but it wasn’t for shit. i read something i wrote a while back, realized that i had it figured out then. life’s just tried to beat me down. well i quit. but in the best way possible. I QUIT THE SHIT. when you stay in the same spot...
crying. And I can’t help it. I can’t help how i feel. Selfish, shitty. Everything around me just keeps moving. And I’m standing here and for the life of me I can’t take a step forward. Always steps back.
I want to begin to write again. I feel that writing has such power in that it records your emotions. a video, a picture. these things are nice, but nothing will truly tell you what you were feeling the way ink on paper can. i don’t just want to write more. i NEED to write more. I’m yearning to get these thoughts on paper. consider this, day one.
drinking me lonely →
I’m pushing you away each time I pull up that ole barstool, And drownin’ you in every drop I drink. I’m telling you to go to hell but I’m talking to myself ”cause you’re not around to hear what I think. I’m trying to teach my heart to hate you, But it ain’t workin’ right Now the truth is I’m only drinkin’ me lonely tonight. Lord,...
i cant sleep at night
i waited for you to grow up, see that my love for you extended beyond belief. i waited for you to understand and acknowledge my care my worry. it all came down to one thing, empty words. how could i believe someone who continuely let me down, broke his promise, and walked away. i never once left you, never once turned my back on your heart. you say i have an inability to listen and yet your ears...
so this year can be summed up like this: i dropped my extra luggage found my heart fell in love lost my mind moved out got fired from the worst job ever got hired by the best job ever lived on ramen and late rent payments finished my fall semester, shockingly tasted independence touched it felt it and now endulging in it grew closer with my parents and woke up every single morning...
today ended so good. not only was my last tip of the night amazing i was able to take apu home, i got a visit from the most amazing person everrrr, and he brought me whataburger not to mention wrote me a very cute note. which im putting up in my room. im so lucky, he’ll always have my back. :)
staring into the face of my future. its captivated me, and capsuled me, metaphorically, in my fate. i cant move too fast, im so mesmerized by what i see. its today, that i hold so dear, because im happy. im afraid, if i had let another steer, i dont know what ill be. the decision i have made for the best, ive come to realized ill never second guess, because if love was made like terracotta clay, i...